


I Murder Love in the Night

by foolishdeadbeat



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Character Death, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Major Character Injury, Porn? Porn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2016-09-18
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:57:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foolishdeadbeat/pseuds/foolishdeadbeat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a murderer loose in London. Phil Lester is in love with him.</p><p>(Six chapters in theory - more may come along later)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Serial Killer ( Lana Del Rey )

**Author's Note:**

> Each of these chapters is named after a song, feel free to look them up and get even sadder!!! Chapters run varying lengths and sometimes I forget to update this sorry.

The door made a loud slamming noise, waking up the resident light sleeper. Said light sleeper realized that this had to be his boyfriend, or the murderer that was going around London. _Wait, Dan was never home this late, so that was virtually impossible right?_

Grabbing the nearest item that could do harm, which turned out to be some heavy figurine, Phil headed into his boyfriend’s room, checking to see if he was there. No sign of Dan. Swallowing nervously, he glanced down the hall and mumbled,

“Danny?” No reply. Phil crept down the hallway, trying his best to be quiet and finding himself in the only room with a light on.

In said room stood an above average height, brown haired and sludge coloured eyed Dan. Something was off about him though, Phil could tell. This wasn’t his bear. Dan was shaking, making small, almost fearful, noises between his under-the-breath mumbles.

“Dan?!” the other snapped around, a sight that made Phil almost burst into tears, and drop the figurine. He could see the blood stains on Dan’s shirt, even though it was black, making a dark imprint on the fabric. His face was also splattered with the thick, red substance. “D-Dan ... what the hell happened to you?!” it was rare that Phil swore, but in this case it seemed fitting.

“I-I uh ... _fuuuuuuuuuuuuck_.” Dan put his head in his hands, making more pathetic noises, “I’m sorry that you had to see this ... I forgot that you’re a light sleeper and I thought you would never find out but you hadn’t noticed before and -”

Phil cut him off abruptly, “find out about wh-what?” _Was he cheating on me? Did he kill a prostitute? He probably was ... we haven’t done anything for, well, ages. But why was he covered in blood?_

Dan’s mind was rumbling too, whatever the hell was in his head was telling him to kill the witness, but he couldn’t and wouldn’t harm the man he loved. He sucked in a deep breath and sighed, “I-I’m not cheating on you .. I could never do that-”

“Then why the hell were you out so late?!” Phil was getting angry. He wanted a plain and straight answer, and he wasn’t getting one, “if you are, I understand and you don’t have t-”

Dan shook his head furiously, “no no no ... y-you know that guy on the news? Th-the killer ...” Phil’s mind was screaming no no, there’s no way, he’s kidding, there’s no way he’s- “That - that’s me Phil ... damn it, I’m sorry ... just give me one more night with you and you can turn me in, okay?”

Running that sentence over and over again in his mind was all Phil could do. He didn’t even feel the tears running down his cheek as Dan’s voice echoed in his mind.

“D-Danny ... I- I can’t do that. I just, I can’t turn you in -”

“Phil, I’m a murderer! I don’t deserve to be with you!” Now both of them were crying, Phil over the fact that Dan wanted to leave, and Dan over the fact that the other wasn’t letting him.

“Danny I don’t care like that, I care about your wellbeing and prison wouldn’t help at all, and that would make me worse too.” Phil’s words were shaky, and so were Dan’s legs, “let’s get you cleaned up and we’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay?”

Dan nodded solemnly, and unknowingly pulling off his shirt, causing Phil to giggle just a little “Let’s go to the bath first eager beaver.”

Phil pulled the other down the hall, said other brown-eyed boy giggled a little at the thought of what could ensue, even though he was still crying a little. Dan complied as Phil began to tug off his clothes; shoes, pants, socks ... but then the latter just stared at his boxers and swallowed. God it’s been awhile since this happened. Phil suddenly felt a tug at his shirt, and glanced at Dan, who was smirking.

“You too,” bashful blue eyes glanced at the floor and then at Dan before Phil began to pull of his clothes, leaving him only in boxers.

Phil shivered at the cold before muttering, “are we going to shower in our boxers?”

Dan snickered a little, sliding off his boxers and kicking them over by his clothes, “well I’m not.” His voice still had a twinge of nerves in it, but his usual sense of humor was starting to kick back in, causing Phil to smile and then reciprocate the kicking of the underwear action. The second Phil turned around to start running water, he felt a hand on his backside, which caused his face to warm up hotter than the water.

* * *

Hissing from the shower began to echo throughout the decent sized apartment, only topped by the laughter and chatter coming from the occupants of the shower. Both Dan and Phil were sitting on the ground in the steamy glass box, throwing little globs of bubbles at each other. It wasn’t long before this had halted as well and they were leaning close to each other. One more shallow breath was taken from both before Dan leaned in a little more and kissed Phil with full passion and meaning. They stayed like that for a moment, just enjoying the feeling of one against the other, before Phil pulled back a moment.

He whispered in a barely audible tone above the sound of the shower, “I’m kissing a serial killer,” then, thinking it over for a few seconds, shrugged and went back to kissing Dan; who was smiling a little more after he’d said that. It wasn’t long until the kiss got heated; hands running over skin and tongues running over tongues. Dan knew how to take control, pressing his hand on the inside of Phil’s thigh before maneuvering between the other’s legs and pulling Phil into his lap.

The kiss was broken at this point with Phil nudging Dan a little, “the water’s getting cold ...” Dan shrugged in response, “water bill.” then Dan made a more serious face.

“Right.”

The water was quickly shut off and the boys dried each other off, Dan taking any excuse to ruffle Phil’s hair and vise versa. They realized that they hadn’t picked out clothes before the shower and Dan giggled a little, “I guess we have to leave the warmth of the bathroom naked.”

Phil sighed and nudged him, “not that bad, the apartment’s pretty warm, besides I just need a shirt and new boxers to put on. You on the other hand wear basically a full day’s worth of clothes to bed.”

Dan let out a little huff, “well, I’m wearing one of your shirts then.”


	2. Once Upon a Dream - ( from Maleficent )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> basically just phil talking to himself for a whole chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically Phil's inner monologue

Today had started off a little too early for my own taste. I could hear some anime opening from my room and dragged myself out of bed to join Dan in watching whatever show we were watching at the time. Of course, I couldn’t think of anything else but what had happened last night. Once out into the kitchen, I noticed that Dan seemed more distant than usual, which was probably at the same cost of my weariness. Silence, except for the chatter of the TV and our eating, pervaded the apartment. We had nothing to do today except errands, cleaning, and hopefully not procrastinating. It was 10:30 in the morning when I woke up and almost twelve after Dan and I’s anime splurge.

I walked over to Dan from my spot on the couch, grabbing his empty bowl and kissing his cheek. “Don’t procrastinate all day,” before heading into the kitchen and setting the dishes in the sink. After those had been washed up, I grabbed a pad of paper and started writing down what we needed food wise for the rest of the week. This was really just an excuse to get out of the house and to process what had happened the night before. I guess I really needed a break, but it seemed more of something to preoccupy myself with. I’d thoroughly gone over the kitchen a few times before finishing the list of about fifteen or twenty items before grabbing my wallet and phone and heading out the door. With a quick goodbye to Dan, who still hadn’t spoken, I was gone.  

It wasn’t long into my shopping that the invasive ‘ _oh god I’m dating a killer_ ’ thoughts lurked back into my mind. Most of them started with why?

_Why would Dan do this? Why wouldn’t he tell me? What would happen if I did turn him in? Why would he do this? Why would anyone do this?_

I had to stop in the middle of an isle to keep myself from crying in the middle of the store. Luckily, no one saw me, so I was safe from that embarrassment. Knowing I needed something to cheer myself up, I did the rest of my shopping and checking out quickly before making my way over to the nearest creamery. Not much was at the shoppe, even though the quality was good, it was just a bad time of day after the lunch rush. I only got a scoop of vanilla and another of bubblegum. I texted Dan before I went in to see if he wanted any. No reply. I guess he just wasn’t talking today. I wasn’t going to make him, but I just hoped there wasn’t too much wrong.

Deciding to walk home, I put in earbuds and ate my ice cream as I went. The walk was only a few miles, but it felt like longer with the sad music I had put on.

Once I had climbed the mount everest of stairs into mine and Dan’s apartment, I went to unlock the door and noticed it was open.  _I guess Dan never left ..._  I opened it and stepped inside, trying my best to be quiet. There was no sound whatsoever. No clacking of keys, no piano music, no chatter from the tv ... nothing. The silence chilled me to the bone. I walked into our small kitchen and set down the groceries, glancing into the living room and hoping to see Dan either asleep or in his browsing position, but instead I saw nothing. This threw me into a panic; checking every single room in the house for any sign of him but still, it was just me that was home. Digging my hand into one pocket, I pulled out my phone, unlocking it and calling Dan right away. I called him three times, only getting voice mail.  _Was he in prison? Did the police find him?_  There was no sign of a struggle in the apartment, so that couldn’t be it. There was only one more option I could think of and it was the option I dreaded most.  _He’d gone out to kill again._

I’d spent most of that night alone, working my way through a medium sized bottle of red wine and watching TV dramas. It was very early in the morning when Dan came home, and I didn’t bother to greet him.

“Good to see you still care about me,” I mumbled, and Dan didn’t reply. I heard a door open and shut, and a few seconds later water running.

Stumbling slightly into the kitchen, I put the almost empty bottle of wine back in the fridge before heading into my room, falling asleep in my jeans and t-shirt.

 


	3. The Ice is Getting Thinner - ( Death Cab for Cutie )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil tries to tell his friends that something's up with Dan, but no one believes him, leading him to get drunk as hell.

The small apartment was almost dead silent for the next few weeks. Only Phil’s anxious tapping, the sound of doors opening and closing, and Dan playing on his computer could be heard. Doors opening and closing were almost always very quiet, except for the one or two nights when Dan came home late and slammed the door behind him. It never woke Phil though, he didn’t sleep anymore except for occasionally during the day.

The clacking of computer keys was Dan doing some unknown work on his laptop; it could have been tumblr, writing, or venting about his crises. One thing he had to do was assure people that Phil was okay, making up the excuse he was sick and didn’t want to go on his computer, when in reality Phil hadn’t left his room for multiple days in a row. Dan’s sympathy was starting to kick in and he knocked on the door to Phil’s room.

“Philly?” the incessant tapping stopped a moment, then continued at a faster pace. “Phil, please you need to eat something ...”

The tapping stopped again and there were footsteps up to the door, and then Phil’s quiet voice came through the door, “move away from the door.”

Dan stepped away from the door slowly, making it obvious that he had moved. When Phil came out of his room, the sight almost scared Dan half to death. Phil’s clothes were hanging off of his shoulders slightly, his hair was messy, and his skin was flaking off slightly. The other started crying almost instantly, and Phil didn’t flinch.

“How the fuck could you do this to yourself?!” Dan choked out, reaching out for Phil, who retaliated back. The latter made a face of slight sympathy but mostly disgust, walking away from Dan and down into the kitchen.

“I’ll eat if you want me to,” Phil muttered, not looking at Dan at all.

Dan wiped his eyes, taking in a deep breath, “if that’s all you can muster right now, and I’ll leave you be if you want.”

The other mumbled something to himself, and then turned around, “I’m sorry for ignoring you the past few weeks just ... emotional crap I guess.” he shrugged a little bit.

In truth it was only partially ‘emotional crap’, most of the turmoil that Phil was dealing with was the fact that no one believed that Dan was a murderer. He’d told a flurry of his friends about what had happened, most just recommending that he talk to someone about the ‘hallucinations’ or ‘dreams’ he was having. Only one person had partially believed him, and that was Phil himself. Was I just dreaming? Was it all a manifestation of stress or fear?

When Phil had gotten down to the kitchen, he noted the two new, untouched, bottles of wine in the fridge. He smiled just slightly, grabbing the bottle and heading into the hall.

* * *

 

A few hours had passed with Phil still in the kitchen, or at least that’s where Dan thought he was. Dan stayed in the living room the whole time, watching TV to drown out the silence. He noticed that there hadn’t been any movement to and from the kitchen in a good while, and chose to get up and look for Phil. Turning into the kitchen, he noticed that the fridge was open just slightly. Walking over and shutting it, he noticed a shape over by the stairs.

“Philly?” the shape moved, turning to show Phil’s drunken face.

“Well heya hot stuff,” Phil stumbled up a little, almost falling down the stairs, “hows it goin’?”

Dan gave him a quizzical look, and then noticed the bottle in his hand, “damn it Phil. Not eating, and now this?!”

The other shrugged, not really caring, “I c’n take care of myself ...”

Dan groaned, “Phil did you even eat anything? I’m getting worried more and more every minute.” Dan found himself suppressing the urge to pull his boyfriend into his arms and never let go. He felt bad, this was all his fault. If he wasn’t out ... then Phil wouldn’t have ever found out and things would have been normal between them. Phil would be okay. This was all Dan’s fault. Closing his eyes, he tried to ground himself for a moment. Focus on the moment. Phil was drunk, he needed him now.

“Washa thinkin about Danny?” Phil’s words were slurring a bit, he really was drunk.

Dan slowly opened his eyes. “Nothing, sweetheart. Do you want to go lie down?”

Phil giggled a little, leaned forward, and suddenly wrapped his arms around Dan’s shoulders. “Only if you come with me!” Dan could smell the alcohol on Phil’s breath, and wrinkled his nose.

He let out a small sigh, “Phil, you’re drunk as hell. There is no wa-”  
Phil hugged him a little too tight, cutting off a bit of Dan’s air supply, “pleeeeeeease!”

Dan sighed again, prying Phil off of him and holding the other out in front of him, “no funny business, but okay.”

Phil gave him a big smile, induced by sudden happiness and drinking, before stumbling over a little more and then holding out the wine bottle, “can ya put this back in the fridge? I’ll meet you in my room.” He wiggled his eyebrows a little bit, causing Dan to laugh a little.

“Yeah, okay,” He snagged the bottle and headed back to the kitchen, listening to Phil occasionally run into walls and his stumbly footsteps. 


	4. Animals ( Maroon 5 )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I haven't updated in forever, sorry! Obligatory smut for disappearing for a few months.

Dan noticed that the bedroom door was closed. After procrastinating a bit on going to see his boyfriend in his room, he’d finally gotten it together and walked to Phil’s room. He knocked on the closed door twice. No answer.

“Phil? Are you okay?” Pause. No answer. “Phil, I’m coming in your room.” he opened the door slowly, flicking on the light and seeing Phil snuggled up under his blankets, asleep. Dan let out a little happy sigh, turning off the light again and walking over to the side of the bed. He gave Phil a little nudge, who let out an annoyed groan in response.

“Philly, it’s me, do you still want me here?”

The lump of covers let out a noise sounding like ‘yes’, and Dan started to move the duvet. Phil turned himself to face Dan, drunk and drowsy. When Dan had situated himself under the covers, Phil snuggled up to his chest. There was a short pause of silence before Phil spoke.

“Hey, Danny?” he looked up from Dan’s chest, “can we fuck?”

Dan’s eyes shot open, and he felt himself blushing darkly, “uh ... I, uh, guess so ...?”

Phil moved again, pulling himself up onto Dan’s lap, and started to grind down. Dan blushed darkly, looking away from Phil in attempt to quell the urge to do something else. Shifting more, Phil started to pull at Dan’s skinny jeans, ending up taking them off and throwing them somewhere else in his room. Dan shivered a little at the cold on his legs, glancing up at Phil and forgetting the cold. The other had peeled his shirt off, and then his sweatpants, leaving only slightly too stretched out briefs. Dan noticed his boxers were getting a little too tight as well.

Phil leaned down and kissed Dan hard, and the latter could taste the wine on his mouth. Dan pushed up against him a little, getting Phil to get things over with already. Hands started to move faster, and in a few moments all clothing was gone and lower areas of both were exposed. Phil looked, and then licked his lips. The other shivered a little, sitting up slowly and pulling Phil into his lap. Phil straddled Dan and started passionately kissing him. They ground on each other slowly, and then faster before something snapped in Dan. He let out an almost growl from his throat, which made Phil pause a moment.

“Danny? Are you oka-” Dan was mostly okay, he grabbed Phil by the shoulders, flipping him on his back and pinning him to the bed.

He panted a moment, before mumbling, “Phil, I’m fine,” and then starting to bite and kiss at Phil’s neck.

That’s when there was the first real moan. Phil’s back arched a little bit, stumbling with the other’s name and pressing against him. Nothing but the words more and Dan and please could be heard in their apartment, and Dan was enjoying it.

Dan made another growling noise, moving so he could start to press inside of Phil. The latter pushed down, letting out more moans and wanting noises, needy for the new dominance he was experiencing from Dan.

There was a lurch in the bed and Dan was all the way inside Phil, and both of them let out groans. Dan pulled his hips back and pushed them forward, starting a deep and slow pace inside of Phil. Phil on the other hand was moaning his mouth off, with a perfectly framed ahegao face. As Dan’s pace picked up, moans and grunts got louder throughout their apartment. The bed creaked and the floor shook; Dan swore he heard someone shout at them from downstairs. Phil dragged him back to reality with a needy moan, and Dan realized he wasn’t keeping up his pace. So, of course, he did the logical thing; he sped up. The other’s arms were around Dan’s back and running deep scratches up and down. Phil’s moans echoed louder as Dan sped up, causing Dan to want to go harder and faster. The words that were coming out of Phil’s mouth had garbled into moans and groans and strings of more more more! Dan gave one more hard thrust inside Phil before the latter came onto their stomachs, Dan following a few moments after.

“Holy fuck,” was all that Phil could say as they basked in the afterglow, “we have to do that more often.”

Dan nodded tiredly, pulling out of Phil slowly. He flopped down on the bed a moment before reaching over to the tissues on their bedside, flopping them on the bed lazily.

Phil reached over and pulled a tissue out, wiping off his chest and tossing the tissue off to the side before grabbing another and starting to wipe up the thick liquid leaking out of him “This always feels the weirdest, but in a kind of nice way ....” Dan shrugged in response, wiping himself off as well.

“It’s kind of a mess, but it’s hell of a lot of fun ... we should probably invest in condoms,” He snickered a little.

“Yeah, that would be a good idea, and we can if you want,” Phil shrugged, sitting up a bit and then grimacing as he felt cum leak out of him, “okay, yes let’s this is ... tiring and weird.”

Dan let out a little sigh, snuggling up to Phil’s side, “yeah tiring is right ....” he kissed the other’s cheek, wrapping an arm lazily around him. 

 


	5. Gasoline ( Halsey )

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Major drug use/abuse chapter. Phil almost dies. Dan does drugs. Meet J, a total asshole American drug dealer.

More nights of “sexy serial killer” roleplay had followed Dan and Phil’s more recent night of, to put it blatantly,  _ fucking _ . Phil had actually started to enjoy Dan’s tendencies; the latter had become an  _ animal _ in bed. True, Phil had gotten increasingly sore every night, but there were always painkillers. There was the night that Dan came home laced with something, and stated that he was seeing things and needed to kill something. That blew off the façade of sexiness and turned it into fear. Phil didn’t want Dan to come home, especially if he was threatening to murder once again, and especially didn’t want to deal with him high or drunk again. 

Thus began the intervention. 

Phil tried to enforce rules over when Dan could come and go from the house - only for Radio 1, groceries, or if they were going out together. He enforced this by using Dan as his human pillow at night, picking him up and dropping him off when he went for anything he needed, and making sure there was no alcohol in the house. But, Dan found his fix. Strange ‘friends’ of his would start visiting the house, almost setting off fire alarms and spending large amounts of time in the bathroom doing who knows what. Then Phil found out. He found out it wasn’t working; he was only trying to help Dan and he was almost making it worse. The only thing that Phil was keeping Dan from doing was killing people. Dan had gotten himself addicted to a variety of different ways of escaping reality; PCP, Opiates, LSD, Cocaine, or basically anything he could get his hands on. Phil had found a bottle of catnip hidden in his room. Speaking of whom, Phil hadn’t gotten better either. He, on the other hand, had gotten himself into a numbing pain. He’d been buying a large amount of pencil sharpeners and breaking them open, cutting his arms sideways and every direction until there was enough blood to colour water in their bathroom sink red. Dan hadn’t caught him for a good week before he’d noticed Phil had been in the shower longer than usual. 

He knocked on the door, “Phil, you okay in there?” Pause ... no answer, “Phil, I’m opening the door.” Dan opened the door, not really prepared for anything, and then almost screamed. Phil was slumped against the wall, his head lolled to the side. There was a pool of blood around him, and long slits up his arms. 

“Fuck, Phil!” Dan ran over to his boyfriend, pressing on his wounds to stop the bleeding a few moments before starting to dig inside underneath their sink for bandages. 

“It’s gonna be okay, Phil, you’re not gonna die I promise,” Dan pulled out the only bandages he could find, wrapping up Phil’s arms tightly, “yeah, you’re gonna be fine babe I promise.” Then he started sobbing, putting his face in Phil’s chest and crying into his skin.

“I’m so fucking sorry ... I did this I caused you to do this ... I never should’ve started this I’m so sorry Phil ... please I’ll try and get better just please don’t die Phil, please....” his voice was cracking on every word, starting to rock Phil’s body a little in his arms. 

Dan fell asleep like that, holding Phil’s slightly bloody body in his arms and crying. He had moved a little in the night, and woke up to Phil’s slow breathing. 

Then he cried again. He was so happy, Phil was alive. The light of his life was still and now he’d made a promise- he had to get better. 

Dan shook Phil a little, “P-Philly? You gonna wake up?”

Phil let out a little groan in pain, stretching his fingers a little, “wh ...?” his eyes fluttered open slowly, looking down at a teary eyed Dan, “mornin’ bear.” 

Dan started crying again, mumbling curses under his breath but also mumbling things about Phil before he got himself together and looked up again, “I’m happy you’re alive.”

There was a long pause of Phil blinking slowly and then looking away from him. Dan sighed sadly, looking over Phil’s bandages; they were a reddish brown colour from blood. He reached forward taking the other’s hands. “We should clean these.”

Phil nodded, “alright ....” he sat up against the wall while Dan started searching for better bandages to put on his arms, finding gauze and bandages that would stick to his skin a little better. Phil had started pulling off the loose bandages off, showing off the deep cuts on his right arm. He grimaced a little looking down at them, thinking how he could have possibly done this to himself. Dan started working on the other arm, pausing a few seconds to find disinfectant before continuing. 

Once they’d both gotten all the bandaging off, Dan carefully started putting disinfectant on the wounds. Phil hissed a little in pain, looking down at Dan with pin prick tears in his eyes. Dan worked as fast as he could to finish dressing and then covering the slits, making sure the bandages were tight and secure on both arms. 

“Do you need something for the pain?” Dan glanced up at the few tears that had gathered on Phil’s cheeks from the disinfectant before wiping them away. Phil nodded slowly, “come with me?”

They both got up slowly, stiff from laying on the bathroom floor all night and tired from the pain they had both gone through. Dan sat Phil down on their couch before he pulled a small box out from under it. He dug around a few moments before finding a pill bottle full of tablets. 

“Morphine, not the crazy addictive kind, but something to take the edge off.” he got up and walked into their kitchen, filling up a glass of water and then walking back to hand it to Phil. 

Phil winced, his body still shaking from not only a sudden amount of movement after being stiff on the bathroom floor all night but from the initial shock of the whole situation. Dan, who had somehow been hiding this for weeks at the least, was trying to make him feel better with illegally obtained drugs. This wasn’t the worst, right? He nodded silently, taking the small purple pill into his mouth and swallowing it down with a gulp of water and grimacing. His mind raced.  _ Could this be the beginning of the end? Am I going to overdose some time soon? Is Dan going to?  _ The cycle of thoughts continued until his body felt woozy, and he hadn’t noticed Dan sifting through the box again and then closing it. Dan pressed his right wrist to his nose and leaned back, inhaling sharply to try and clear out his nostril. They sat there in silence: Dan with his eyes closed and facing the ceiling and Phil aimlessly staring at his hands. Phil didn’t know how long they’d sat there until he felt Dan move again.

“He’s here. I hope you don’t mind,” Dan stood up from the couch slowly, but it still caused a shift in Phil’s body. The younger opened the front door, talking in hushed tones to someone else. Whomever it was obviously wasn’t from London - let alone Europe - but Phil ignored this. The front door shut again as he heard two pairs of footsteps coming toward the front room.

“...sorry to hear. Is he alright now?” Phil could pick up the accent now, North American most likely.

“He’s awake at least,” Dan’s voice replied, “shared what I had.” 

Phil heard the stranger agree with a grunt before the two entered the room completely. The stranger was significantly shorter than Dan, about a foot under Dan’s towering six feet, and wasn’t as lanky as the either of them. Phil couldn’t make out any particular facial figures, since whomever it was had made sure no one could see his face, covering his eyes with dark sunglasses and the rest of his face with a black scarf. Phil noted the tuft of grey-blond hair sticking out from the beanie he wore too, but mainly he could see bare skin from his shirt sleeves down. The skin there was lightly bruised and covered in scabs and looked almost translucent. His hands were covered in splotches of dried blood and bandages, and his fingers looked particularly nimble. Phil noted that, if he ever talked to this stranger, he would ask about all of these. 

Phil reached out a hand slowly, and the stranger scoffed, “what did you give him, kid, molly?”

Dan rolled his eyes, “morphine. Thirty milligrammes.” 

The stranger clicked his tongue, “be careful with that shit, kid, you know what it does to you.”

“Yes, I know,” Dan sighed.

Putting his arm down, Phil tried to talk but nothing came out. He grunted and leaned back into the couch a bit more, before starting to pick up on a small scratching noise. The sound seemed to be coming from the stranger, and though he and Dan were talking, nothing was drowning it out in Phil’s ears.

“Dan,” Phil’s voice was shaky, “what’s that sound?”

Dan shrugged, watching as Phil struggled to sit up, “what sound is it?” He leaned back onto the couch a little.

Phil looked around, eyes a little hazy, “scratching.”

“Ah, sorry,” the scratching stopped once the stranger spoke, “habit of mine.” Phil recognized the accent more clearly on the word  _ sorry  _ no matter how stereotypical it was.

“Canada,” Phil mumbled and squinted at the stranger, who smirked in response.

Dan rested a hand on Phil’s shoulder, “anyway, J, you know why you’re here.”

The stranger, J apparently, huffed, “right. So, pickup yeah? What do you need, kid?” J slid a bag off his shoulder that Phil hadn’t noticed, pulling out an open notepad that was too far away for the raven-haired Brit to read. 

“All of it,” Dan’s voice was firm, and J laughed.

“All of it? Don’t you know what you’re getting into with that? You’d better have a rig and half ready because I gotta stay with you for this.” J picked up his notebook and scribbled something on it.

Dan cracked a bone, “you’re staying though, right?”

J nodded, moving his bag again, “gotta take some shit out, take some shit off, and we can get started soon if you’d like.”

The box shuffled around again, Dan pulling out glass pieces, lighters, needles, cotton balls, and a variety of other things from inside. It wasn’t until there was a small  _ thwump _ on the coffee table that Phil noticed J had taken off his scarf, beanie, and sunglasses. 

J’s eyes were dark blue, showing little emotion as they adjusted to the bright lights of the living room. His nostrils were tainted an almost sickly white around the edges from flaking skin and his lips were chapped and sore looking. The skin surrounding his eye sockets was light purple, contrasting his eye colour and the veins in the whites of his eyes. J’s hair was tied back in a ponytail, and it hung loosely over his shoulder. His most interesting feature, though, was the marks on J’s neck: small dots and raised lines of scars from where he had injected needles intravenously into his jugular. Even the thought of a needle going into his own neck made Phil wince. 

Dan seemed unphased by J’s appearance,  _ how long had they known each other? _ Phil began to over think before he heard more movement from J’s bag. He had pulled out a large bag of needles, setting them on the table before continuing to unload his bag: a bottle of water, a small bag of cotton balls, a few spoons of different sizes, matches, a candle, a lighter, a pack of cigarettes, a small case that looked like its original purpose was for glasses, a strange pipe that looked almost like an elongated light bulb, and a few bags containing what Phil assumed to be drugs.

He spaced out soon after, not wanting to see what came next, but Dan remained interested by J’s movements and silent work.

Dan remained silent, watching as J pulled a flat pseudo-ouija board out of his bag and reorganized. J pulled two needles from the bag and a small handful of cotton balls. He opened up the old glasses case, revealing a few plain razor blades and tiny metal pipes with flared ends and pulled the supplies out. Glancing up at Dan, he smiled momentarily before continuing his work. J opened the first small baggie, gently pouring out a solid rock and the stream of smaller rocks and powder following it onto his board.

“You’ll have to come over here,” J didn’t look up, sitting on the floor next to the coffee table before pulling out one of the razor blades. He scraped off layers of the white rock as Dan made his way over to J, watching carefully before sitting down next to him. J gently shoved the large rock off to the side and started dividing up the pre-scraped powder into two small mounds. He set off one larger mound and one smaller, taking the smaller and making two small lines out of it.

“You know what you’re doing kid?” J looked over at Dan, who had a look of nervous confusion pasted across his sleep-deprived face.

“Yes and no,” he smiled weakly, “demo first?”

J nodded slightly, cutting off a long line from his larger mound of powder - it easily was double the size of one of the ones he had set aside for Dan. He pulled out two of the metal pipes from the old glasses case, setting one toward Dan and holding the other in his left hand. Pressing the edge of the pipe to the board, he exhaled slowly before leaning in to inhale the powder in one fluid movement. J set the pipe down and leaned his head back, pressing the part of his hand where his thumb and his wrist met to his same nostril and inhaled sharply once again. Dan had watched intently, taking mental notes of vaguely how to snort his smaller lines.

J looked back over at Dan, letting out a small exhale, “you good?”

Dan nodded, taking the pipe J had set aside for him and pressing it to the board and repeating the motion the American had demonstrated. He held his nose, feeling a slight sting, and J laughed at his response.

“Don’t be a fucking pussy, lets keep this party going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm back to updating! There are at least two more chapters in like beta, feel free to bug me about it.


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